On the Spring equinox, Neurosis released a new album on the streamers, titled “An Undying Love for a Burning World” with physical copies being available in May. And, boy, in this shittiest of times in which we live in, did I ever need an album like this. Hit the link for more info.
Just know that of all the artists I love, there is but a handful of them in which I buy everything they put out. Led Zeppelin has gotten most of my discretionary income in this life, but right there is also Neurosis. I ADORE this band. I won’t bore you with recounting their history and my long relationship with their music. Just go to Neurot Records and go down the rabbit hole.
I’ve been traveling way more than intended this year, but I still feel compelled to share some thoughts on Bob Weir who passed away in January.
I was absolutely NOT a Deadhead for much of my life. Growing up in the Bay Area in the 70’s/80’s, the Grateful Dead were embedded in the local culture, whether you liked it or not. I rebelled against that. I also had a family connection in that my step-uncle worked as a truck driver for the Dead, even going to Egypt with them and writing a book about it. As this uncle and I would have a severe falling out, I associated the Dead with him….so F&*K them!
In truth, however, I did like American Beauty as a kid, associating it with some brief happy memories of my childhood that surround a hippie babysitter I had after my mom died (a long story for another day).
Fast forward to 2016 when I got reacquainted with an old friend from my days playing in hard Rock bands in the Bay Area in the 80’s. He too was “anti-Dead” back in the day but somehow became an avid fan. This was surprising to a degree but as we change as we get older, not earthshattering. In our conversation, he said “You’ve got to give the Dead another chance!”…to which I said “yeah, yeah”..
As an aside, my sister had also become a big Deadhead so I knew more than a few people who fell under their sway.
Some weeks after that meeting with my friend, while having an apple pie with my wife, I put on my vinyl copy of “Dead Set”, the live album that my stepbrother gave me for Christmas in 1980 that I played maybe twice before storing it within my record collection for 36 years. As I’m listening to “Samson and Deliah” while enjoying home-made apple pie, I was mentally transported back to that aforementioned childhood time with the hippie baby-sitter that smelled of marijuana and Nag Champa (again, long story but I remember her cooking apple pie), and something “clicked”. I listened to the album over and over. Then I bought ” Workingman’s Dead”, then “Blues for Allah”. Then I switched the Sirius radio to the Grateful Dead channel, then I started becoming familiar with the huge wealth of live recordings. I was hooked. It was the damnedest thing. It was a music rabbit hole that I went down into hard.
That, in itself, was enough to make The Grateful Dead and all their members special for me. But, in 2019, when my father was dying in my home, I put on The Dead for him to listen to. At that point, my father wasn’t very lucid and was fading fast. But he did turn to me as he heard the music and said “That is nice. Keep playing that”. Those were some of the last lucid words he said to me.
All this is to say that The Grateful Dead became and remain very special to me. And Bob Weir, of all the members, is the most revered to me for a few reasons.
1st reason is because I came to the Dead after Jerry Garcia passed and the GD were officially no more. Of course, I know that Jerry is and will forever be the guiding musical force behind the Grateful Dead. But the post-Jerry activities have fascinating me even more so and especially Mr. Weir’s. He literally never stopped. He was a relentless artist that pursued his own path while also keeping the legacy of the Grateful Dead not just alive but evolving. In a very real way, he became the elder statemen of the movement that the Dead created that Jerry Garcia did not live to become.
2nd, I am in awe at Bob Weir’s guitar ability. His chord phrasing and style were 2nd to none. He was such an amazing contributor to the sound of the band. Its impossible to imagine the Dead’s sound without his rhythm guitar.
Lastly, his song writing and voice were fantastic. “Jack Straw”, “The Other One”, “Sugar Magnolia” and on and on were fantastic songs. His interpretation of the cover songs like the aforementioned “Samson and Deliah” and “El Paso” made those songs his. Even the “Jerry Songs” that he would sing later in life were made (dare I say) more special. His solo albums, especially “Blue Mountain” are fantastic.
I’m grateful that I got to see Dead and Co. in 2022 and The Wolf Brothers in 2024, both with my oldest daughter who has also gone down the Dead rabbit hole. I’m grateful that I was encouraged by a friend to explore the music and open my mind. I’m grateful to have discovered art late in my life that has been there all along and feels like its been here forever. I’m grateful for Bob Weir for being the most devoted chaser of bliss that made my world a little richer. I’m Grateful.
So much has happened this month. Multiple murders at the hands of The Proud Boys…er… ICE. Journalists arrested, civil liberties trampled, our “leader” behaving belligerently, children being victimized by government agents and used as bait. It all makes me feel spiritually dry, hopeless, ashamed, saddened, ANGRY!
I struggle to live the words that so many of my spiritual guides teach. Love my enemy (Jesus), have unconditional good-will to all (Buddha), be an instrument of peace (Francis of Assisi). It all feels incredibly unattainable. I want to follow the examples set by all the spiritual leaders and thinkers I have spent years learning and admiring. But it all becomes so unreachable when I see, as an example, Stephen Miller, The White House Deputy Chief of Staff, telling obvious lies with a smug bitterness that makes me want to act violently. I find it impossible to have any love towards the man who is largely responsible for unleashing of the present government-sanctioned racist violence. I genuinely despise this man and his boss.
I can feel that anger eating at me, taking away any peace. Despair and anger exhaust me.
BUT…..
I’m reminded that I alone will only have despair and anger in the face of such negativity, that I need help. This is the message Jesus said about loving the enemy when he predicated all he did with prayer, that it was prayer that provided the means to love the enemy. And the Buddha reached the understanding of METTA after much error and reflection. And St. Francis didn’t just become an instrument of peace. He prayed to become that instrument. And that is where, when I find myself so spiritually dry and brittle, I realize I can’t do anything good or noble on my own. I need to foster that spiritual connection. And when I do, I’m less angry at Stephen Miller, Donald Trump, and the rest of the people currently causing so much pain and fear. That is not to say I’m ready to love them yet. I’m not a saint. But I see the connection between a spiritual relationship in the form of prayer and meditation with a Higher Power and the hard work of agape. That, in fact, is what makes Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. so remarkable in my eyes.
SO…..
I’m reminded that, when I feel so spiritually dry, I need prayer and meditation for guidance, strength, courage, and love. In the words of St. Francis of Assisi:
“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace: where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy. O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.”
I’ll have more to write about Mr. Weir when I return from my upcoming travels, but I will say that his music meant a lot to me in my older years. That is ironic as I used to despise the Grateful Dead (close minded Heavy Metal elitist that I was). But in the last 10 years, his music, be it with GD, Dead and Co., the Wolf Brothers or with whomever has truly become foundational to my music listening life. Again, I’ll write more when I get back but….
God bless Bob Weir and thank you for the great music.
He is Lemmy Kilmister. He played Rock and Roll. He was a man of integrity and honesty. Some would say he was crude. I would say he was admirable and inspirational. He suffered no fools, lived life honestly and without pretense, and (by many accounts) was a kind and generous man…..Oh, and by the way, he was a pioneering and pivotal figure in the history of Rock and Roll. It’s hard to believe it has been 10 years since his death. Long may his memory remain!
In spite of all the anger and fear that bombards us daily, I have hope. Not a naive hope which is more a desire. Rather, a hope that is anchored in the belief that light is always present and always prevails. True, the ugliness is real. Yes, fear and anger create the conditions in which great harm is done and is being done. Yes, there is more anger and fear than I realized a few short years ago. But I remain hopeful that love will prevail
That being said…racism, homophobia, sexism, xenophobia and any exclusionary and divisive stance are abhorrent to me. If you disagree, I shall still love you as best I can, but from a distance. In a word: boundaries.
And speaking of love, the best definition of love I have heard of is “the non-possessive delight in the well-being of another”. I heard it from Rev. Dr. Jacqui Lewis which she attributed the definition to Dr. James E. Loder
The older I get, the broader my spiritual “touchstones” become. I’m less and less likely to identify with a particular religious tradition and remain curious about people, traditions, and practices beyond my cultural “home” (whatever that means). I believe in “The Perennial Truth” and its manifestation throughout time, cultures, and traditions.
To paraphrase the late, great Tom Petty, music is the greatest magic I have ever encountered.
I wish you all a blessed 2026. May peace and every good be yours. Cheers,
